Anger is probably the most confusing emotion.
It’s so very clear when we share someone’s anger, it makes so much sense and nothing could possibly be clearer. It’s almost becomes a tangible fact.
But when we don’t share that emotional opinion, it becomes alien. Frightening, confusing. Something to be pitied or pointed out as the ‘naivete’ or ‘weakness’ of that nebulous ‘Other’, that which is so outside our own-selves that it must be wrong and therefor we’re not alike enough to be seen sharing the same space.
Personal secret time. I am actually a very angry person. I am fully aware of the great hurt and violence I could inflict upon others if I were to turn off the curiosity i have for my fellow humans that helps to keep me in check. I have seen fear that I caused, created through my own actions cross, pass, flit across another person’s face. Surprise, hurt and eyes darting about for escape. I never want to see that expression again. I want to see that expression again.
It feels right, it feels righteous. So how could this righteous certainty possible be wrong?
It’s easier to be angry then it is to be fearful, sad, vulnerable. It feels safe, it feels right. It feels strong. Because if we can tear into meat, down to the marrow it proves the strength of our conviction, of our might. Master the fight, master the will, we can prove the righteousness of our anger through action. Inaction is cowardice, don’t think, pounce. We know our own mind and in our own mind, we are the hero, we are the righteousness that the world needs, if only everyone would just step back and listen.
Show them our anger and we can make them see, they would see how right they could be too. It’s an intoxicant, it is in you as well, it is toxic.
I don’t know what’s right. I fear i never have. This is why i will continue to listen, digest and hug everyone instead. Don’t let me go.
I’m scared and it would be so much easier to be angry…