My partner is the world’s prettiest princess.
A lot of people don’t know this but they don’t know him, so I will forgive.
I am the world’s shittiest dragon.
Not only, obviously, because I’m not actually a dragon. But because I fail at protecting and running people off in the way that dragons are meant to drive off intruders from their hoarded treasures.
Instead I try to share him, I try to drag him about and around and shove him into people’s faces no matter where I am or what people might actually be doing, with a “LOOK WHAT I FOUND!” mentality. Because he is awesome and want to share that with everyone.
Or at least I try… more often then not he’ll prefer to stay home doing whatever it was he was doing. When this happens enough then the watery-eyed pleading begins. Which of course is annoying as shit because it feels like I’m being passive-aggressive and trying to make him feel guilty about not wanting to engage in whatever nonsense I’m geared up to do for that day.
So instead I burn down the forest around us and he sighs about how I’m getting his dress all sooty…
Okay not really… but this wasn’t really going anywhere past the fact that I felt like writing it, enjoy the analogy and think it would make for a grand children’s book saga. It’d be like Clifford… but with more casual casualties.