The Binary Expectation

As an omni-queer person…
(I refuse the term bi since it implies that there are only two genders).
I’ve ditched out on several relationships not just because of the “Oh you’re just confused” or “Stop being greedy and pick one” mind sets and comments but because there’s a greater and insidious problem. This binary expectation.
I’d date women and they’d expect me to play the butch to their femme.
I’d date men and they’d expect me to be the femme to their butch.

But I am not a binary person. In fact, I don’t think most people are.

I don’t like being presented with only two options. I don’t want to pick soup or salad… Maybe today I want chili. But mostly I just want to be me and the second I started seeing this dynamic, this expectation playing out yet again and notice how I subconsciously start to play into it… I take off running.

People aren’t binary.
Even our very DNA shows us that there are more then two options, two pairings possible. So why do so many still cling to this only two-option-role “safety net”? Why don’t more of us throw out the binary expectations and embrace the helix of life?

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4 thoughts on “The Binary Expectation

  1. I have been using the term ‘pan-sexual’, doesn’t really matter though when its all the same I guess. Honestly – I think the only reason people stick to using bisexual is because they sometimes don’t know any better.

    • I’ve always enjoy that term: pan-sexual.
      Makes me smile, mainly because I imagine the people who use it to be gender-prospectors… panning the ‘known’ streams for gold.

  2. When I started my blog I wrote a long rambling post about labels and why they’re problematic. I never posted it because I decided that the people who got it didn’t need to read it and the people who didn’t probably wouldn’t care. I’m glad you took the time to write this and weren’t put off by people’s assumptions. I think might dust mine post off and turn it in to something positive.

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